A few nights ago I hung out with a few old friends. We all met at the oil change I used to work at. They all still work there. While we sat around the patio table and sipped our [separately purchased] beers, we did what we have done for the past 4 years: talked about the oil change. I didn't mind, as if I ever did, because I have missed the place since I quit a couple of months ago. Earlier that day while I was at work [this had to have been after I did my blogging rounds] I sent a mass [if mass means three people] text message to invite them over. Only one of them was at work at the time. He felt the need to make it known to the other guys he was working with [my former co-workers] that I had invited him over. No biggie. I have never invited any of them over before so why would they care? They didn't, but my old boss did. He actually got miffed over the fact that I don't send him text messages. He didn't care that I didn't invite him over. He already had plans. Why the hell would I invite him over?!?!? We were always close while I worked there...as close as a married man and a girl nearly half his age can be without making things illegal.
Towards the end of my sentence at the oil change, him and I clearly drifted apart. He was hurt that I was leaving him, and I didn't show that I cared [probably because I didn't]. Around the same time, he started his obsession with text messages. Prior to that, I had sent him about a handful to let him know his lunch had arrived and I couldn't find him. That was about it. Somehow, from those, he thought sending messages with heavy sexual undertones to me was appropriate. He had the ability to turn anything into a sexual innuendo.
Example via a flashback:
Me [after a night of babysitting his sons]- "They [his kids] insisted on watching a movie in your bedroom. They wouldn't fall asleep unless I laid in bed with them." [mind you, they were around the ages of 6 and 7 at the time]
Him [to all of the guys at work the next day]- "Wa-hoooo! Gyps has been in my bed! How many of you can say that?!?"
Flash forward to today. In my nostalgic frame of mind, I decided I should visit him one last time before I leave. To stop him from pouting, I sent him a text message. From there, we had a text conversation that went like this:
Me- Would you rather...have me stop by the shop to chill OR stop by your house to chill?
Him- How bout the sybris [I believe he meant the Sybaris, which is advertised as the "Romantic Getaway" meaning it's a hotel that couples visit to bone in the same place that thousands of others have (ie in the hot tubs or private pools)]
Me [trying to shoot him down in the nicest way possible]- That is a bit out of my price range
Him- A gentleman always pays
Me [thinking, "If you're gentleman, then why are you suggesting we meet at a place with sex swings hanging in every room?"]- Ok see you at the shot at 7.
I'm still waiting for a response from him...
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5 comments:
lmao.. nice.. and no tears this time.. just laughs!! lol way to go!.. PS... Have a G-R-E-A-T weekend.
I will NEVER understand how people can got to the Sybaris!! GROSS! And worse my brother has gone with his wife and we had this sick ass convo that gave me nightmares:
Brother Dan: 'That place is awesome, you and Andy should go.'
Me: 'WTF dude! That shit disgusts me!'
BD: "what? when M- and I go we have allot of fun!'
Me: 'Listen! I know we're adults n all but I don't NEED to picture you guys there AND I don't need you givin be advice on how to spice up my love life! SICKO'
Jerk just laughed and said he felt sorry for husband Andy...
GROSS!
I am glad I took the time to say bye to my ex-boss last night. He did have a huge impact on my life. He let me work there while I finished high school and all the way through college. He never minded if I did homework between customers. We have had A LOT of good talks in the past 6 years and although yesterday I thought it was a bad thing, I am actually glad that some people never change...even if our last words were:
Him- This was nice. I enjoy talking to you. Send me some dirty text messages while you're there so we can keep in touch.
Long Pause...
(cricket, cricket)
Me- It was nice seeing you. Good night!
Little does he know, the dirtiest text message I've ever sent was:
"Dude, I've worn these pants and this undershirt to work 3 times this week. I'm surprised I showered more than once in that period."
Sidenote: I'm hoping my cut-back on showers is just a phase. I actually made it my goal to shower everyday this week. I failed. I skipped a day. :(
Gots to love dirty old men boss' ;-)
I think we've all had 'em..LMAO.
As for the Sybaris...I really enjoyed it there. PC and I went there when Alex was little. Shortly after we returned I found out I was preggers with Liberty ;-)
Guess that means we had a good time!
LMAO.
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