Found: A New High

I started packing today. Well, it was not really packing it was pretty much getting rid of damn near everything in my closet and dresser drawers. I was amazed at how many unpractical items I have held unto for all of these years. When I was in high school, Sexy Lady and I would go to the thrift store every half-priced Monday and buy little boy t-shirts. At the time I thought we were cute, but thinking back, does any guy really want to date a girl that looks good in his old junior high t-shirts? College t-shirts/sweatshirts maybe, but a developing boys'? Probably not. My point is that the majority of my clothes are little boy t-shirts that I either cannot fit into or are worn out to the point that they are see-through. Because my mom was by my side and giving me the come on Gyps you're an adult now look, I decided to part with most of my tiny tee's. After the first large bag was filled, I was sad. After the second was filled, all I could do was shake my head and think, "Man, I am ridiculous." Along with my second (soon to be third) hand tees, I had to donate all of the dresses I wore to high school dances (let's face it, I cannot fit into anything near a size 2 anymore and spandex is not and never has been flattering...thank you to all of my friends that let my get away with wearing those), my skimpy little shorts that used to be too big on me but now could not fit past my knees, and all of my ripped jeans that were not purchased that way but literally worn to shreds.

I am glad that I went through all of that because I was nervous that I would not be able to fit everything into my car when I move. Now that I have this new, beautiful 17" HP notebook, I have to save as much room as possible. This baby is getting it's own seat in the car with a seat belt and all.

I cannot end this without writing about this wonderful high I am on right now. Friday night I went out with my amazing sister. It was the first time we really went out together. I could not have asked for a better time. Our unspoken goal for the night was to find her a man. There was a handful of guys that our beer goggles noticed and by the end of the night, without even breaking a sweat she had gotten us about 4 or 5 free drinks each. I had the best time watching her work her magic. The only time I can ever recall getting a free drink prior to Friday was on my 21st birthday when I went around to nearly every table at the bar and showed every guy my ID to illustrate that it was in fact my birthday and he was responsible for getting me drunk. That one Miller Lite I got that night was fabulous. As I laid in bed that night and watched the ceiling spin I became mildly sentimental. It dawned on me just how close my sister and I have become over the past couple of months and now I am about to throw all of that away when I move in a couple of weeks. I know we can still talk on the phone everyday (we get free Verizon to Verizon which kicks ass...side note: That night I also learned that one of the qualities she is looking for in a man is that he has a Verizon phone...I thought it was funny. I am pretty sure she is serious though), but it just won't be the same now that I know how fun she can be to hang out with.

Yesterday, my grandparents had a family party that you can read about in my cousin's blog OneMomTwoBabies . I think it was the most "successful" get together we have had in a long time. Instead of being a Crabby Patty, I decided to socialize with everybody as much as I possibly could. At one point, I snuck away from everybody and walked around every room of my grandparents' house and absorbed all of the memories that every room, picture, piece of furniture, doll and blanket brought. It took all of my strength to hold back tears. A large chunk of my childhood was spent at that house along with everybody that I had talked to outside plus the rest of the family that did not show up and all of their exes and step-daughters. It is a shame I don't let those memories play out more often. The climax of the day was when my grandmother brought out boxes for each of her kids that contained the pictures she had acquired over the years of them and their children. Everybody gathered in their respective family group and looked through the pictures together. I don't know if anybody else noticed the proud smile my grandmother had as she walked from group to group when somebody questioned a picture or said, "Look at what we found Grandma!" It has probably been so long since she has heard those words from my generation of grand kids (she now has a new generation of the most beautiful great-grand kids I have ever seen) that she just soaked in every moment.

While I was walking through her house yesterday, I wondered if she replays any of the same memories that I do whenever I am there. I wondered if she thought about the Easter that Great-grandma gave all of us little chalkboards with bitty pieces of chalk to write with. Does she think about putting little treats on the pillows of her guest bed like she did when my cousin Boo and I stayed there for a week? Does she remember the dinners she cooked for me and grandpa after she picked me up from my weekly counseling session? I do. I remember the stuffed pork chops and the salads with the avocado on them. I taste the mints. I feel the chalk on my hands. I smell the piles of moist leaves she let us jump into and I love it. Being with my family this entire weekend gave me the biggest high I have had in a long time.

In order maintain my high or at least remember a place I can go to get it back, I added a new item to my To Do List. If you are a member of my family (heh, and you know who you are now), please know that although it has never really been said, I love you. All of you have made such a huge impact on my life that I never really realized until just recently.