Question Sharing

As mentioned my friend from home and I have been sending each other odd "test questions" to answer on our downtime. She recently sent me 2 questions, both of which I enjoyed answering so I thought I would pass them along to you onlookers:

1) Who did you share your first kiss with? Make a prediction as to what he/she is doing nowadays.

2) Put these professions in order starting with the one you would most likely do: gyno, king crab fisherman, chimp trainer, dentist in Mexico City, dairy farmer, stun gun/tazer inspector, Wal-Mart return counter person

My answers*:
1) A: The first person I kissed was C. D. It was in the 6th grade at a Halloween party. Him and I were "dating" and our friends plotted against us by forcing us to play spin the bottle. It just so happened that when he spun the bottle it landed on me (meant to be, eh?). It was a puckered lip fish-kiss...and it was glorious.

I predict that he is in a near catatonic state, sitting in a Barcalounger (note: i had to look that word up) in his parent's basement that is facing a gigantic poster of me in the 6th grade. He is and will forever be pining over me and that one amazing kiss we shared. He will never get a job because of his obsession with me. He does however, continuously apply at Island Tanning in CC, where I held my first job at age 14 as a receptionist/bed cleaner. He is so demented that he has yet to realize that Island Tanning closed down 6 years ago shortly after I moved away.


2) A:
1. King Crab Fisherman-I pick this first if and only if I could star in The Discovery Channel's: Deadliest Catch. I want to be famous someday and I will do whatever it takes to get my foot in the door.

2. Chimp Trainer-Yes, I will likely get poop thrown at me, but the things are just so darn cute AND I am not opposed to throwing my own poop back at them.

3. Wal-Mart Return Counter Person-Seeing as I despise Wal-Mart, I would have zero desire to be good at this job and slash or would get a kick at being rude to rude customers and denying them a return for bogus reasons. I would be the law. Because of me they would be stuck with defective "shower massagers" and the like.

4. Tazer/stungun tester-I put this job in the middle as hopefully after holding this postion for a short period of time, I will become numb to all of the horrible sights, smells and tasks that I will perform in the following jobs

5. Dairy Farmer- Sure I would get all the free milk I could ever ask for, but I only ask for one Milk Chug a week to pour into my cereal. I don't mind the udders, and in fact might enjoy stroking them to get the milk out, HOWEVER, the constant smell of manure would make me gag so much that I would probably sustain severe esophogeal injuries.

6. Dentist in Mexico City-I did a little research and actually Mexico City has a pretty strong economy so the quality of teeth might not be extremely poor, HOWEVER, the thought of putting my hands in anybody's mouth gives me the heebies. The only joy I would get out of this job would be from yelling at people for not flossing enough (while knowing that I have zero intention of doing it myself).

7. Gyno-As mentioned, sticking my hands in anybody's mouth gives me the heebies, and quite frankly the thought of sticking my hand in a vagina gives me the bleeping JEEBIES!

*Note: I apologize if my answers offend you in anyway. It was not my intention. If you hold any one of these professions, my hat is off to you as I know that you must be a much stronger person than I.